Farr Honored for Service, Athletics

(Wilmington, DE)—Congressman Sam Farr was honored yesterday at Daniel S. Frawley Stadium for service to his country and for his years playing for the Wilmington Blue Rocks. Farr watched from the field as local soultress Norah Whittaker sang “The Star Spangled Banner,” then was asked to give a few brief remarks. “It’s great to be back on my old home turf,” said a smiling Farr to the cheers of the 13,429 spectators in attendance.

Farr was a relief pitcher for the Blue Rocks between the 1978-1981 seasons. In Blue Rocks history, he is currently the twelfth all-time leader in saves (127) and fourth in strikeouts in a three-season period (422). Farr, who played briefly with Blue Rocks legend Wade Boggs in 1977, once even considered going to the Majors.

“I considered it, of course,” reminisced Farr in his bestseller biography, Farr: Legend In His Time. “It would have required countless hours of work, hustle, and effort. Then I discovered public service.” The Blue Rocks, founded in 1926, moved from Fairfield, Connecticut to Wilmington, Delaware in Farr’s final season, where it registered as a Single-A Minor League club. They are officially affiliated with the Kansas City Royals.

Farr Celebrates Birthday

Washington, D.C. -- Congressman Sam Farr celebrated his 67th birthday on July 4th, at The Borgata in Atlantic City with colleagues. The birthday/Independence Day extravaganza was thrown by House Majority Whip James Clyburn (D-SC), a close friend of Farr.

Although traveling press was not permitted in the private screening room, sources in attendance reported the event to be "off the chain...frankly" and "the shizzle all in her fodrizzle." "That party was crazy-flippin' shit: everybody was shitfaced," added one senior aide.

No public comments were made about the event, except a brief press statement released by the office of Congressman Robert Wexler (D-FL). "Congressman Wexler will not be in attendance during today's [July 5th] session hearing on South American narcoterrorism. Following Washington's record-setting booty call, the Congressman is resting from getting more schwerve than one man can physically handle."

Sources inside The Borgata provided few details to the exclusive event. Partygoes at Farr's birthday collectively consumed more than 500 pints of alcoholic beverages--well over 60 gallons--and ordered $7,000 worth of women's clothing, including dresses, skirts, wigs, and lingerie. After ordering more than 200 bottles of male enhancement tablets (a 3-year supply), two dozen dancers arrived dressed in the unmistakable garb of Congressional Pages. Further details are unclear at this time. The intensity of the party, however, was quite clear when two partygoers were admitted to Atlantic City Medical Center and treated for exhaustion, Congressmen John Salazar (D-CO) and Tim Walberg (R-MI). Less substantively-corroborated rumors include a smuggled twelve-foot bong in the sculpted likeness of a large, paper-mache Sam Farr, handcrafted entirely of laminated House Resolutions and Formica.

Congressman Farr was not available for comment, but when asked of his escapades the next morning on the Senate Floor, the Congressman only vexingly stated, "I cannot elaborate on the nature of the private lives of Representatives. But I wasn't the only one hammered like a nail." He then added, "Bang bang, skeet skeet."

But at the end of the day, the mysterious details of what took place July 4th in the private Borgata screening room is perhaps better left unknown. The consensus in Washington is of a party gone terribly wrong, facilitated by a remarkably unreasonable amount of alcohol. "Don't ask, don't tell," joked a senior-level staffer for Congressman Farr, who spoke only on the condition of anonymity. "When the dancers arrived, [82 year-old] Congressman Dingell jumped on a nearby table and shouted, 'Let's get everyone laid!'" Added another staffer, "It was crazy. Only a few parties can even be mentioned in the same breath. I haven't seen a party like this since Clinton Victory Night '96."

New York Times News Service -- Copyright 2008.

Farr Reflects on DJ Days in ASCAP Bill

Associated Press

(Salinas, CA) -- Congressman Sam Farr (D-CA-17) reflected on his past days as a DJ and busker during the House floor debate regarding the American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers (ASCAP). ASCAP currently represents 320,000 composers in the Unites States; under current IRS tax code, professional musicians receive exclusive tax benefits. The bill HR-448 [2008] would authorize Congress to federally fund the institution with taxpayer dollars. During debate Sunday, Farr reminisced on his work for "side money" in 1974 through 1976, working nightly as a street busker and DJ in Los Angeles.

Farr, who is Co-Chair of the Congressional Travel & Tourism Committee, argued from personal experience how federally funded entertainment catalyzes economic growth. "I worked as a busker and disc jockey in the 1970's, and as much as I had fun in my younger years, I was really doing it for the money," Farr stated in the Congressional Record. "Now, if I was doing it for the money, what was I doing with that money? Well, spending it, obviously. That's a direct economic impact, far more effective than tax cuts."

Farr did not allude to his role as a busker, but during reelection in 1996 Farr played keyboards at a small fundraiser with local jam bands "moe" and "Umphrey's McGee."

Sam Farr has a 92% rating from ASCAP.

The Santa Cruz Sentinel